Memorial Day Reflection

Chester Vernon Steele (1918-1943) who died at 25 years of age in World War II


A few days after my wife Carol and I wed in August 1970 in Greenville, S.C., we visited the Winchester National Cemetery in Winchester, Virginia, and the gravesite of her Uncle Chester Vernon Steele.

We stopped at the cemetery on our way to see some of Carol’s relatives who lived in her native land of Washington, Pennsylvania. Winchester National Cemetery lies about 80 miles west of Washington, D.C., and was established during the Civil War.

“Grandma and Grandpap wanted him buried where his grave would be taken care of,” Carol said of Chester Steele, a U.S. soldier who died in North Africa during World War II. He was the younger of two boys (and six girls) born to Carol’s maternal grandparents, Benjamin Newton Freeland Steele and Rose Ella White Steele.

A framed photograph of a smiling Uncle Chester wearing a military uniform sits on our mantel. I sometimes pause to view the image of a soldier who died before Carol was born. I’ve wondered what kind of man he would have become if he had lived to return to Pennsylvania.

I’ve often heard these sayings: “Freedom isn’t free” and “All gave some, but some gave all.”

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who died in our nation’s service. It’s about coming together to honor those who gave their all.

Here is a bit of Memorial Day history:

President Lyndon Johnson in 1966 declared Waterloo, N.Y., the birthplace of Memorial Day, but it’s difficult to prove the origins of the day. The observance probably had many separate beginnings. Planned or spontaneous gatherings of people to honor the war dead in the 1860s tapped into the general human need to honor our dead. The movement culminated in U.S. General John A. Logan’s May 5, 1868 official proclamation recognizing Memorial Day. The day was first observed on May 30, 1868, when flowers were placed on graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. In 1873, New York became the first state to officially recognize the holiday, and by 1890, all northern states recognized Memorial Day. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their war dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). Memorial Day is now celebrated in almost all states on the last Monday in May.

To remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day, the “National Moment of Remembrance” resolution was passed in Dec. 2000. The resolution asks that on Memorial Day at 3:00 p.m., local time, Americans voluntarily and informally observe in their own ways a moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to “Taps.” We are asked to set aside one day of the year for the nation to get together to remember, reflect and honor those who gave their all in service to their country.

Jesus, wearing a crown of thorns and a purple robe, once stood before Pilate, the Roman procurator of Judea. Pilate said, “Don’t you know I have the power to crucify you and the power to release you?”

Jesus said, “You have no authority over me at all, except what was given to you from above” (John 19:11). Jesus acknowledged that God instituted human government to provide order and protection.

Paul wrote, “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God” (Romans 13:1). However, when rulers tried to stop the New Testament church from preaching about Jesus, Peter and the apostles said, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).

God should be first and country second. But one’s country is important, and until “time is no more,” those who enjoy freedom of religion should respect God-ordained government.

“Freedom isn’t free.” Our nation sometimes defends our freedoms with military force and asks citizens – especially the young – to serve.

Uncle Chester’s photograph reminds me that some who served in our country’s military made “the ultimate sacrifice.” On Memorial Day, let’s honor those who gave their all.

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After reading “Memorial Day Reflection,” Elaine H. of South Carolina wrote in an e-mail to S. Crain on May 23, 2009:

Re: the National Moment of Remembrance

Shortly after lunch on Memorial Day, 2004, I read in Dear Abby about the 3 pm moment of remembrance. I suggested to Russ (her husband) that I thought it would be nice if he stood on our front porch and played “Taps” on his trumpet at 3 pm. His response was that the neighbors would think he was CRAZY!!

After thinking about it, though, he decided he wanted to do it. I called my cousin Fred, who lives less than a quarter mile from our house – our house is on a hill and so is Fred’s. I told Fred what Russ was going to do and that I thought if he and his wife Kate stood on their porch they would probably be able to hear the trumpet because the wind was blowing in their direction.

Now you need to know some background on this.

Fred was 86 years old at that time (he is now 91 and still going strong). Fred was a fighter pilot in WWII, shot down behind enemy lines, captured and put in a German prison camp. I’ve forgotten how long he was in prison, but I remember that Allied forces freed them just shortly before he was scheduled for execution.

Russ served in Vietnam. He was stationed in Korea and did periodic temporary duty in Vietnam as a sniper. He and some friends formed a band and entertained the troops in areas where it was too dangerous for the USO to go.

On that Memorial Day just before 3 pm, Fred and Kate drove up in our yard (this was too important to him to just stand on his porch and hope to hear the trumpet). He was wearing his cap with his military insignias on it. Fred, Kate and I stood at attention in the yard facing the porch where Russ stood and played “Taps.” It was a special moment – the patriotism and the emotion were indescribable. When Russ finished, we ALL had tears in our eyes, there were no words – no one could speak. Fred shook Russ’ hand and the look between them was something only two soldiers could share. I’m in tears now just thinking about it. WOW!

Elaine

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From: Steve Crain, Saturday, May 23, 2009 11:19 PM
To: Elaine H., Re: A reflection of my own

Elaine,

What a wonderful story you sent! It brought tears to my eyes. Perhaps you will let me use your account of the event at some time in my writing? I would give you credit. Okay?

Tell (your husband) Russ thanks for his service. I have a site www.vietnamdrawings.blogspot.com that shows some drawings I did in Vietnam in 1971. Perhaps Russ might like to look at them?...Again, thanks and let me know about permission to use your story, if you will.

Steve C.

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On May 23, 2009, at 11:48 PM, Elaine H. wrote to Steve Crain:

You are welcome to use the story.

I’m sorry to say, my dear, sweet Russ passed away August 18, 2005 – 5 days before our 30th wedding anniversary.

The Hearts of Mothers

“Do you have children?” a young dental hygienist asked me during one of my routine checkups.

I said, “Yes,” and told her the ages of the two adult daughters my wife Carol and I cherish.

“I have a son; he’s eight months old,” said the trim, blond hygienist whose husband works as a golf course manager.

“That keeps you busy,” I said.

“Oh, yes, but if we decide to go somewhere special, we take him with us,” she said. “He’s starting to ‘pull up’ and will soon be walking.”

“It’s great you’re committed to having children,” I said. “You may better appreciate this statement when your son is older, but someone said, ‘The decision to have a child is a decision to take your heart out and let it walk around on the earth.’”

She was silent for a short time before she said, “That’s enough to bring a tear to an eye.”

Perhaps I shouldn’t have given her that quotation. I didn’t mean to cause her to lose the joy of telling of her son’s endearing baby behavior. I wondered what crossed her mind in the seconds between my statement and her reply? Did she envision her son growing away from her during his teenage years? Did she see him as a young man wearing a military uniform and waving as he boarded a plane?

I was no more than six years old when my mother looked at me while she said to a lady visiting our house, “They say war comes around about every 18 years.”

I remember thinking I would probably follow in the footsteps of my father, a U.S. Army veteran who fought in Germany during World War II. Mother had known the stress of waiting for her husband to return, and she seemed concerned about my future. Mother’s statement came to my mind many times before I entered the U.S. Army. I spent a year in Vietnam but saw no combat.

“The decision to have a child is a decision to take your heart out and let it walk around on the earth.”

Many mothers have “poured out their hearts in prayer” for their children. They’ve prayed for children who “made them proud” and prayed for wayward sons and daughters.

While living years ago in Greenville, S.C., I often listened to the Rev. Oliver B. Greene’s “The Gospel Hour” radio broadcasts. Greene was born in 1915 in Greenville, South Carolina, and based his ministry in that city. He died in 1976.

A Gospel Hour website describes Greene’s youthful life as “that of a wastrel, living in wanton wickedness. Drinking, stealing, bootlegging, immorality – he was a veteran of all those vices. But at age 20, God saved that wayward youth when he attended a revival meeting (solely in an attempt to date a pure country girl) and heard a sermon on ‘The wages of sin is death.’” Greene said he moved “from disgrace to grace.” In 1939, at age 24, Greene bought a tent, and for 35 years conducted revivals across America, until failing health forced him to stop.

During one of his radio programs, I heard Greene tell of “coming home drunk” when he was an unsaved young man. He heard his mother praying for him as he passed her room. A sermon may have convicted Greene and clinched his decision to follow Christ, but his mother had prayed for him for many years.

When the angel Gabriel traveled to Galilee and told Mary she would give birth to Jesus, Mary was joyful. After Jesus’ birth, Mary and Joseph (Jesus’ stepfather) carried Jesus to Jerusalem “to present him to the Lord.” The elderly Simeon “came by the Spirit into the temple” and took Jesus in his arms.

“And Simeon blessed them and said unto Mary his mother, ‘Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against. Yes, a sword shall pierce through thine own soul, also…” (Luke 2:35).

Mary knew the joy of giving birth to Jesus Christ, “the Light of the world,” and she knew the soul-piercing pain of seeing her grown son, her “sweet little holy child,” suffer rejection and endure the agony of crucifixion.

Dear Father, bless all the mothers who have known and will know the joys and sorrows that come from being willing to take their hearts out and let them walk around on the earth.

'Complain and Remain; Praise and Be Raised'

A lady called an early-morning Christian radio talk show I often listen to and said that a Bible teacher taught her this helpful maxim: “Complain and remain. Praise and be raised.”

I’ve thought a lot about those words.

Here’s a dictionary definition of “complain”: “to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; to find fault; to tell of one's pains, ailments, etc.; or to make a formal accusation.”

Writer Steve Pavlina says, “Complaining, like all thought patterns, is not mere observation. Complaining is a creative act. The more you complain, the more you summon your creative energies to attract something to complain about.”

Samuel Johnson said, “When any fit of gloominess, or perversion of mind, lays hold upon you, make it a rule not to publish it by complaints.”

Anthony D’Angelo said, “If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.”

Bernard M. Baruch said, “You can overcome anything if you don't bellyache.”

Robert Hugh Benson said, “I think that the insane desire one has sometimes to bang and kick grumblers and peevish persons is a Divine instinct.”

Benson’s quote infers that God probably doesn’t like to hear grumbling and that most people share that instinct. After God led the Israelites out of Egyptian slavery, they were at first thankful, but God got fed up with their subsequent griping, whining and murmuring. (To “murmur” means “to make a low or indistinct sound, especially continuously; to complain in a low tone or in private.”)

“They (the Israelites) murmured in their tents and did not obey the Lord” (Psalm 106:25).

“The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects,” said Lord Jeffrey

“I can't complain, but sometimes I still do,” said Joe Walsh.

Someone noted, “Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.”

Here are writer Alexander Kjerulf’s “Top 10 reasons why constant complaining is so toxic in the workplace”: Complaining makes things look worse than they are. It becomes a habit. You get what you focus on. It leads to onedownmanship. It makes people despondent. It kills innovation. It favors negative people (the way to get status among complainers is to be the most negative). It promotes bad relationships. It creates cliques. And, finally, pessimism is bad for you.

Complaining may cause you to fall backwards into the “slough of despond.” (“The Slough of Despond” is a deep bog in John Bunyan's allegory “The Pilgrim's Progress” into which the character Christian sinks under the weight of his sins and his sense of guilt.)

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).

Complaining is easy because it comes naturally; it exudes from our fallen human natures. Praising God during tough times involves taking the high road and “pressing on the upward way.” Praising God instead of complaining involves choosing the words we say. God will enable us to choose the positive response and die to “self.” Many of us want to have a pity party once in a while. We may justify those times by saying, “Well, I’m just letting it all hang out” or “I’ll just tell you how it is.” We’d be better off quoting one of these verses: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13), or “Rejoice evermore, Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), or “He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20), or “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never allow the righteous to be moved (pushed over)” (Psalms 55:22).

“Complain and remain. Praise and be raised,” the lady on the radio said.

I believe that when we praise God, he helps us deal with pain, stress and despondency and that he raises us to a new level in his love, grace and peace.