FRIENDS: CAN YOU KEEP FRIENDS DURING POLITICAL TIMES?

 The U.S. has become more politically polarized (divided) in the last 20 years, the Pew Research Center says.  

As I watched the Inauguration of President Joseph R. Biden on Wednesday, Jan. 20, 2021, I thought of Paul’s instruction to Christians in 1 Timothy 2:1-2:   

“I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; for kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.” 

Early Christians were often accused of undermining the state because they claimed a higher Lord other than Caesar. Paul encouraged Christians to be good citizens by praying for their government.  

Pray for rulers that they would simply leave us alone and let us live as Christians, enduringword.com advises. “Christians are to look for no special favors from the government,” that site says, adding, “Our goal is a level playing field, unrestricted by state intervention.” 

A Focus on the Family writer says, “As long as we can do so without denying Christ or compromising our faith, we must always strive to cooperate with the ruling powers.  

“That doesn’t necessarily mean that we will endorse all of their policies or approve of every specific action they take. This is especially true in a democratic society, where it is the duty of responsible citizens to examine public servants with a discerning and critical eye.  

“Nevertheless, Christians are responsible to uphold biblical righteousness in a hostile culture while also expressing respect for its leadership.” 

Most of us agree that we should pray for our U.S. government, but what happens when Christian friends disagree over ways our country should be run? Can we disagree and still be respectful.

My mother used to say, “Little Smarty had a party, and nobody came but Little Smarty.” If you’re a smart alec, you probably won’t have a lot of friends. A “smart alec” is defined as “a person who is irritating because they behave as if they know everything.” On Facebook, I read witty, smart alec-ky remarks about politicians. Those remarks could hurt or end friendships.

In a letter to the Ashburn Psychological & Psychiatric Services, a lady wrote:  

“Dr. Mike,

“My husband and I have watched politics ruin many of our closest friends’ relationships and now it’s happening to us. I’m wanting to unfriend certain friends on-line because of what I see them posting, and I also don’t even want to have some people in my life anymore at all because their views are so different from ours.  

“My husband and I are Christians, and we’ve always tried to be non-critical and patient in God’s light, but it’s getting harder to do with everything that’s happening in the U.S. right now.   

“This has also been very painful for me since some of the friends I no longer wish to have in my life are lifelong friends from college or high school. Your advice is appreciated.

“Upset in Loudoun”

Dr. Mike replied:

“Dear Upset in Loudoun, 

“You’ve probably heard the saying that you should never discuss politics, religion and money with people, but those topics (and several other sensitive ones) are being discussed publicly now more than ever on social media and in our lives.  Sure, openly sharing your views on a personally charged topic with friends – on or off line – can be productive, but the risk for upset and hurt can also be great. But these are the times we live in, and avoiding social media or public opinion isn’t always realistic or possible.”

Dr. Mike advises that lady to assess each friendship rather than lumping all of her friends into a group to break up with.   

“If you’re a Republican is it really the case that you can’t have any friends who are Democrats or vice versa?” Dr. Mike asks. “In assessing each friendship, I think you should carefully think through the things that drew you to that person to begin with; shared values, common interests, etc.  … You can always openly discuss your concerns and differences with that friend, and even agree to disagree when it comes to politics, without having to part ways. Just like you might have long time friends with different cultural backgrounds and/or religious beliefs, why can’t you maintain friendships with others who hold different political views?”

We sometimes have to avoid some subjects with certain friends. 

Dr. Mike admits, however, “If your friends’ views are too off-putting for you to tolerate and accept in the friendship, then perhaps it’s time to move on."

But Thomas Jefferson said, “I never consider a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy as a cause for withdrawing from a friend.” 

Paul said, “ If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).

Rejoice Despite Circumstances

“Cheer up. Things could be worse,” someone said. 

So, I cheered up, and, sure enough, things got worse. 

That old joke has a Murphy’s Law flavor.

Murphy's Law is the name given to an adage (a short saying about general truth) that sounds similar to the original Murphy’s Law: “If something can go wrong, it will.” 

Edward Murphy, an engineer working on a project at Edwards Air Force Base, found a technician’s error and said, “If there's any way to do it wrong, he will find it.” That kind of statement became known as “Murphy’s Law.”  

Here is another Murphy’s Law proverb: “You never find a lost article until you replace it.” 

Remember the old “Hee-Haw” TV show (1969-1992). A segment showed a quartet of “po folks” singing this ditty written by Buck Owens and Roy Clark: 

   “Gloom, despair, and agony on me. 

   “Deep, dark depression, excessive misery. 

   “If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.

   “Gloom, despair, and agony on me.” 

That expresses how some people feel about life. Though Christians should not feel that way, some may.  

“Discipline is important,” Pastor Raymond D. Burrows said during a recent Bible study, as he talked about trusting God and rejoicing “in” God when things seem to be going wrong. “‘Disciple’ means ‘learner.’”

He talked about Paul and Silas and their run-in with a strange woman (Acts 16) in Philippi, a then-big city in Macedonia (northwest of Greece). 

“They had been directed by God to go into Macedonia but were beaten,” Pastor said. “We’re to rejoice whether things go well or not.”

Why did Paul and Silas get beatings and land in jail?

We’re told that a woman, a “damsel possessed with a spirit of divination,” followed Paul and Silas, crying out, “These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation.” 

“Divination” involves fortune-telling and trying to find out the future by supernatural means. Some call such people soothsayers.

That woman continued often hollering and directing attention to herself for many days. Paul became fed up — well, the Bible says he was “grieved” — and he turned and said to the spirit inside her, “I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.” And the spirit came out, then! 

Things went downhill fast!  

She’d been making lots of money for her masters by her soothsaying. 

Once the evil spirit left the woman, her masters saw their profits from her soothsaying were going bye-bye. They blew their tops, grabbed Paul and Silas, and dragged them before the judges at the marketplace.  

“These men, being Jews, do exceedingly trouble our city, and teach customs, which are not lawful for us to receive, neither to observe, being Romans,” the merchants said as a crowd grew angry.   

The judges ordered Paul and Silas beaten. 

They ended up in pain, in stocks, in an inner dungeon. But at midnight, Paul and Silas prayed and sang praises to God, and the prisoners heard them. 

If most of us were in their place, we might be moaning, groaning, and wondering if God cared about us. Paul said he’d been directed by God to visit Macedonia and did not seem discouraged by a severe beating and being thrown in jail.    

“Rejoicing is ‘in the Lord,’ not in our life’s circumstances,” Pastor said. Rejoicing in the Lord enables us to have a focus on and trust in the Lord.” 

No negative factors seem to take Paul and Silas’ minds away from God.

“We usually think our rejoicing is associated with life’s blessings,” Pastor said. “But our rejoicing must be in God, not in life’s blessings. Too much depends on life situations — gloom, despair, agony, etc. We need to say, ‘Lord, I’m rejoicing in YOU. I think that’s a discipline we can develop and maintain this year.”

As Paul and Silas sang and worshiped, a miracle happened.   

“And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed.”

“There is a powerful effect from God’s people when they’re rejoicing,” Pastor said. “I think the Lord has put this in my heart — for me, maybe for all of us. Rejoice ‘in the Lord.’ I do think we can develop this discipline of rejoicing in the Lord.”